Jerk Off All Trades 1949
by 2091riveraisrael
Summary: Parody fan for the 3 Stooges three Stooge fans out their.
1. Chapter 1 Interior Decorating

Narrator: Ha Ha Ha Yes ladies and gentlemen its the three Stooges from earth and madness.

Jerry: I'm Jerry!

Narrator: simple and screwy.

Brick: I'm Brick!

Narrator: Loney and Ludicrius.

Buttercup: I'm Buttercup!

Narrator: Ha Ha Yes the three stooges are super gentlemen when it comes to any kind of buisness the're wise monkeys. with their wise monkey buisness but tonight it is inteiror decorating.

Jerry is setting up the type wrighter getting it ready to send a letter to their boss.

Jerry: Hey Butterdall I'm ready for dicktape.

As Jerry turns a his head but sees Buttercup sitting on the chair right near him while writting in her notebook.

Buttercup: Yes Sir?

Jerry slaps her off.

Jerry: Get Away from here, Whats the matter with you, are you an idiot an imbosile a moron?

Buttercup laughs.

Jerry: what are you laughing at?

Buttercup: Ain't the five I'm in there some place.

Jerry grabs her hair.

Jerry: Come on go over there and streighten out the files.

Jerry shoves her as she mves towards the file cabinat then looks at Brick.

Jerry: Hey Cap head cget over here.

Brick walks up to Jerry.

Jerry: Do you think you can take a letter?

Brick answers while sitting down in fornt of the type writer.

Brick: I don't think I know.

Jerry: I don't think you know either but go ahead.

Jerry: Dear Sir-

Brick begans to pat his fingers on the type writter getting Jerry dissy.

Jerry What do you got so far?

Brick: How do you spell sir?

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2 Can't Open A Little File Door

{The three of them pick up the three phones that laid on the desk, answering them at once.}

Jerry: Hello.

Brick: Hello.

Buttercup: Hello.

Brick Hello?

Buttercup: Hello?

Brick: Hi how are you- Oh its you, how are you doing?

Buttercup: I'm doing just fine thank you very much.

{While the two of them shake hands they shake Jerry's chin.}

Jerry: Agh. Quiet!

{Jerry snatches the phones from the both of them and bonks them both in the head with them.}

Brick  
>and<br>Buttercup: Ouch.

{Jerry Goes back to the call.}

Jerry: Hello?

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Is this the miracle panting company?

Jerry: Yes what can we do for you madam?

Mrs. Pennyfeather: I would like to have my house painted in a hurry.

Jerry: Why we'll be happy to, Yo Butterball go get the colorbook out of the file.

Mrs. Pennyfeather: The address is 3741NW84thAVN.

Jerry: We'll be right over.

{Buttercup is about to open the middle drawer but the top one opens up hitting her head.}

Buttercup: Ow.

{Buttercup looks at the open top drawer.}

Buttercup: Stupid 1940's File cabinate.

{Buttercup slams the top drawer close, but the botom one flew open striking her shins.}

Buttercup: Ow.

{Jerry arrives.}

Jerry: Can't open a little File drawer, how did girls ever get so stupid?

Buttercup: I've got funds so what's your excuse?

{Jerry grabs hold of her dress and holds her up close to his face.}

Jerry: Remind me to lower your salary and working funds. Get away from here.

{Jerry pushes her away and kicks the bottom drawer shut, but the top one opened up and struck his head.}

Jerry: Ouch.

Buttercup: Ha Ha told ya so.

{Jerry looks at the top Drawer.}

Jerry: Now theres a fine peace of contraption.

Buttercup: Yeah ain't that quint.

Jerry: Ain't?

Buttercup: Ain't.

Jerry: You mean Isn't.

Buttercup: Yeah Isn't that quint.

Jerry slaps her head and closes the top drawer, but jumps out of the way, just in time for the bottom drawer to fly open.

Jerry: See now that is how it's done.

{Jerry kicks the bottom drawer shut but ducks to try and avoid the top drawer, but the center drawer opened up and struck nis head as the top one also opened up.}

Jerry: See you've got to use your head.

{When Jerry stands up he bumps his head on the top Drawer as Brick arrives.}

Brick: I saw it's good for you good for you, step aside and let an intelligent man show you how its done.

Jerry: How did you ever get so smart.

Brick: I went to collage and I graduated.

Buttercup: Just shut up and open the file cabinate.

Brick: Why Certainly!

{Brick pounds the top of the file cabainat causing the senter drawer to open up and strike Jerry' chest.}

Jerry: Ow.

Brick runs in fear and hides in the closet.

Buttercup: come on Godzilla boy we've got to get out of here.

{Buttercup is about to leave until Jerry stops her.}

Jerry: Wait a minute we have to take our paint supplies with us.

{The two of them runs for the closet and fought to grab their belongings, when they finished they rush to teir truck and zoomed towards the Pennyfeather residence.}


	3. Chapter 3 A Sale gone Wrong

{Scene changes to Pennyfeather residence where Mr. Pennyfeather is talking to his wife about, the trouble of the three teenage painters.}

Mr. Pennyfeather: Darling I've never been through anything like I did with those confounded Teenagers, I hope I never see them again.

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Don't worry dear I have some other painters coming right away.

Mr. Pennyfeather: Good good, they're not from-

{Mr. Pennyfeather claps his hand three times.}

Mr. pennyfeather: Texas are they?

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Well what difference would that make?

Mr. Pennyfeather: Oh you'll be surprised. When are they going to be here?

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Don't worry dear they're on their way. Just head off to work.

Mr. Pennyfeather: Alright bye dear.

{Mr. Pennyfeather kisses his wife on the cheek and then walks out the door to his car outside.}

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Where are those painters?

{The door bell rings.}

Mrs. Pennyfeather: That must be the painters now.

{Jerry Brick and Buttercup arrive in the house with massive numbers of paint supplies with them. Brick places a bucket of red paint on a chair, in which Mrs. Pennyfeather reacts.}

Mrs. pennyfeather: You You over there, take thoes pots off that chair at once, thats a genuine dunkans fif.

Brick: Sure my bad.

{Brick takes the buckets off and places them on the floor, he is about to sit down until he swiftly stood back up on his feet.}

Jerry: Whats the matter with you?

Brick: That dunkan better be careful where he leaves his Fif.

{Jerry slaps Brick across the face.}

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Will you all please hurry, My husband wants this room painted and papered at once.

Buttercup: Don't ypu worry madam.

Jerry: Yeah when we get through this place is going to look as beautiful as the beaches of Puerto Rico on a sunset.

Mrs Pennyfeather: Alright.

{As soon as disappears out of the room the three of them get to work.}

{Buttercup begins to place glur on the wall paper as Brick starts to paint the floor, along with the wall, with the help of a cap.}

Jerry: La La La La La.

{Jerry starts to paint the table along with the others but he dose not realize that he is painting the back of Buttercup's dress.}

Buttercup: Hey!

{Buttercup looks as the bottom part of her dress is darken black.}

Buttercup: You were never cut out to be a painter I can tell ya that.

Jerry: Oh shut up and work, you knuckle head.

{They go back to work, as Jerry switch's to the other side of the table and continues to paint. Buttercup continues to paint, but she dosn't realize that she is painting Brick's face also.}

Brick: Hey stupid.

Jerry Don't you realize what you're doing?

{Buttercup looks to see Jerry painting her hand because he was not paying attention.}

Buttercup: What I'm doing!

Jerry: Come on get busy.

{They continue to work, now it was Jerry's turn to paint Bricks face.}

Jerry: LA LA LA LA LA

{Brick stands up and smashes his brush in Jerry's face.}

Brick: Whats going on here will you stop with that insignificant singing.

{Buttercup hands him over a brush, in which he used to paint his face again. Jerry storms past Brick, to Buttercup with his brush dipped into the black paint as she backs away.}

Buttercup: Wait a minute, Jerry Jerry It's his fault.

Buttercup: Oh No you don't.

{Buttercup ducks and covers her face, as Jerry ducked also.}

Jerry: Come out.

{Buttercup looks as Jerry swept the paint brush over her face, then got to his feet along with her.}

Jerry: You idiots go in and paint the bedroom, I can handle this.

{Buttercup and Brick walk out of the room and into the bedroom as Jerry continues to work on the table. Just than there was a knock on the door.}

Jerry: Come In!

{A salesman walks in with a pressure cooker as Jerry stops working, and looks at him.}

Jerry: Yes?

Ping: How do you do my name is ping, I represent the pressure cooker company of lowes county Pennsylvania, we make the finest pressure cooker-

Buttercup: Hey Jerry come in here and help us with the paint will ya.

Jerry: Quiet, I can't come in now I'm talking to a salesman. What did you say bud?

Ping: How do you do my name is ping, I represent the pressure cooker company of lowes county Pennsylvania, we make the finest pressure cooker-

Brick: Hey Jerry what paint should I use for the bedroom. Should I use the blue to match the ladies eyes or the brown to match her hair?

Jerry: Use the green to match Butterball's dress.

{Jerry laughs as he turns back to ping.}

Jerry: Pretty funny prank eh bud?

Ping: Well Um, How do you do my name is ping, I represent the pressure cooker company of lowes county Pennsylvania, we make the finest pressure cooker-

Buttercup: Hey Jerry come in here and help us will ya.

Jerry: Stop bothering me I'm busy, what did you say bud.

Ping: How do you do my name is ping, I represent the pressure cooker company of lowes county Pennsylvania-

Jerry: Wait a minute, why do you keep saying the same words over an over again is that your magnificent up session?

Ping: Well no you see that's the way they teach us back at the office.

Jerry: Well why don't you try saying it In your own words, it might be a little more convincing.

Ping: Well okay I'll try.

{Ping tries to explain it in his own words.}

Ping:Now you see this little valve here, well the steam goes around monkeys around in here an then it goes-well you see the steam goes-well you see the bottom here it- How do you do my name is ping, I represent the pressure cooker company of lowes county Pennsylvania-

{Buttercup walks into the room.}

Buttercup: Oh so this is why your so busy.

Jerry: Yeah go ahead bud.

Ping: How do you do my name is Ping-

Buttercup: Oh Yeah.

Jerry: Oh yeah! Go ahead bud.

Ping:How do you do my name is Ping-

{Brick walks in.}

Brick: Oh I caught you huh, trying to get away without working eh.

Jerry: Yeah go ahead bud.

Ping: How do you do-

Brick: Oh yeah.

Jerry: Oh yeah go ahead bud.

Ping: How do you do my name is-

Buttercup: Oh yeah.

Ping: Oh yeah.


	4. Chapter 4 Epilouge

Brick: Go ahead bud.

Buttercup: How do you do, my name is-

Jerry: His name is Ping- WAIT A MINUTE! Hey that's a pressure cooker, that's a mighty fine item bud.

Ping: It is?

Jerry: It sure is.

Brick: Yeah with that thing you can make a beef stew in two minutes.

Ping: It can?

Buttercup: Yeah and in four minutes you can make a whole turkey dinner.

Ping: Boy that sounds spiffy, I think I would like to have one of those.

Jerry: A small deposit will let you hold it.

Ping: Alright here is five dollars.

Jerry: It is yours to hold bud.

{Jerry hands the pressure cooker to Ping after he hands him the 5$.}

Ping: My wife has always wanted one of these.

{Ping walks out of the room and out the door.}

Jerry: We seem to attract the honest people.

Brick: Yeah that guy reminds me of my uncle he was an Igloo manufacture.

Buttercup: An Igloo manufacture? How do you manufacture Igloos?

Brick: Simple you just take to Igs and glue them together.

{Jerry slaps Brick across the face as Mrs. Pennyfeather walks into the room.}

Mrs. Pennyfeather: My goodness arn't you three working yet?

Brick: How do you do I represent the-

Jerry: Quiet!

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Get To Work!

{Mrs Pennyfeather walks out of the room as Jerry turns to Brick and Buttercup.}

Jerry: You heard what the lady said. Get to work.

Buttercup: And what are you going to do?

Jerry: Nothing what about it?

Buttercup: Oh I'd just thought I'd ask.

{Brick reaches into his pocket and pulls out eye glasses.}

Brick: I've got to do this right.

{He spits on the lens as some of his siliva hits Jerry's cheek. After cleaning them he puts the glasses on.}

Brick: Oh I can see like an Owl now.

{Brick begins to walk nearly running over Jerry, as He stops Brick and points out in mid air. Brick looks at his finger as Jerry moved it downwards towards the paper glue.}

Jerry: We've got to get this wallpaper done in a hurry Get a move on now.

Brick: I'm stiring it don't worry.

Jerry: Alright come on.

{Jerry takes off his jaket and places it on the table and runs to help out Buttercup, but Brick accidentally mistakes his Jacket for being wall paper, and begins to brush glue on it. After words he walked with it towards the wall but Jerry blocked his path causing Brick to bump right into him.}

Brick: I oughta.

{Brick takes off the glasses but gasped when he sees Jerry glaring at him}

Jerry: You Oughta What?

Brick: Be a little more careful.

{Jerry grabs Bricks jacket.}

Jerry: Remind me to kill you later, and no back talk.

{Jerry shoves Brick out of his sight causing his foot to get stuck in a bucket of wallpaper glue.}

Brick: Oh great!

{Brick tries to kick mid air in an attempt to get rid of the bucket, but when it flew off his foot it struck Buttercup in the head.}

Buttercup: Ow! I'll murder you for that!

Jerry: Go On Get To Work!

{The others continue to work as Mr and Mrs. Pennyfeather come into the room.}

Mrs. Pennyfeather: I do believe that the painters will be finish soon.

Mr Pennyfeather: Good good.

{Brick hands Mr Pennyfeather a paper soaked with glue.}

Brick: Do you mind holding this for me bud.

{Before Mr Pennyfeather can say anything, Jerry bumped into him sending his face buried in the wall paper. Jerry and Buttercup are both holding another sheet of wall paper while walking to the wall they take Mr Pennyfeather with them. As they began to smooth out the paper they noticed Mr. Pennyfeather.}

Jerry: Hey nit wit! Get this paper off of him.

{Brick begins to rip the paper off pf him, but as he is bending down to get the bottom part off his cap brush wipes against his face.}

Mr Pennyfeather: Careful.

Jerry: Hey whats a matter with you are you nuts or something?

{Brick turns to see Jerry with a pie aiming directly at him.}

Jerry: Why you.

{But Brick ducks causing the pie to hit Mr Pennyfeather in the face. Jerry Grabs hold of Bricks jacket.}

Jerry: Clean Him Up Thats All You're Fault!

{Jerry shoves him so hard that he nearly almost fell, as he grabs a razor out of his other pocket.}

Brick: All right I'll clean him up hold still there, and I'll wash you up in a second.

{Brick begins to roughly smooth out his face.}

Brick:He's got tender skin there.

Mr Pennyfeather: That's my hair be very careful with it.

{Mr Pennyfeather after seeing Bricks face remembers that they were the ones who kicked him out of their office and began to scream.}

Mr Pennyfeather: YOU! YOU! YOU!

{He claps his hands three times as the three of them gasped.}

Jerry: Its Waterfeather!

Mr Pennyfeather: PENNYFEATHER!

{The three of them scatter.}

Mr Pennyfeather: I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!

{Mr Pennyfeather glares at his wife and yells.}

Mr Pennyfeather: You You Imbisile, You're the one who hired them!

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Call me an Imbisile will you!

Mr Pennyfeather You're an Imbisile!

{Mrs. Pennyfeather takes a pie and shoves it in his face.}

Mrs. Pennyfeather: Take that.

Mr Pennyfeather: Where did they go? WHERE DID THEY GO I'LL FIND THEM.

{Brick is dressed like a lamp, as Mr Pennyfeather spots a Jerry and Buttercup in a black coat and cap trying to find the exit blindly. Mr Pennyfeather thought up an idea.}

Mr Pennyfeather: Agh agh agh, not that way you three that's the kitchen, this is the way out.

Brick: Oh

Jerry: Thanks say you're not mad at us?

{Mr Pennyfeather laughs historically and than answers.}

Mr Pennyfeather: Why no of course not.

Jerry: Oh well It was a pleasure of doing your painting and paper hanging.

Mr Pennyfeather: And it is a pleasure to do yours.

Brick: Good bye.

Jerry: Good bye.

Buttercup: Goodbye.

{Mr and Mrs Pennyfeather dumps the pail of wall paper glue all over the three of them. Than they took glass vases and began to strike the three of them with them. and that marks the end of the scene.}

Narrator: Ha Ha Ha, and so ends one of the episodes of our three teenage stooges drive their luck as interior decorators and met with misfortune, however, will they be cowards, and never try it again are they spineless Jellyfish, quitters

Jerry  
>Brick : You bet you're life we are.<br>Buttercup

{Buttercup begins to paint over the Interior Decorating word with a paint brush.}

THE END...


End file.
